Saturday, December 31, 2005
Why can't speed dating come with speed foreplay followed by speed moving on?
There's always this pressure this time of year to go to a party with a date. And a friend of mine suggested speed dating. Great way to meet potential dates she said. I mean I'm all up for variety - I hear it's the spice of life. But speed dating sounds like an event. And if speed dating is just that, a concise sped up date, then why can't it come with speed foreplay followed by speed moving on? Next…
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 12:09 PM
Friday, December 30, 2005
why can't my salary be doubled and my responsibilities halved?
I have a powerful dream, an incredible vision. Picture, if you will, an idyllic world where the birds are always singing, the sun is always shining, laughter is the soundtrack to life and where my salary is doubled while my responsibilities are halved. So why does it have to be a dream? Why can't my salary be doubled and my responsibilities halved with every passing day? Then when I reach retirement I'm earning a small fortune (sorry, make that a large fortune) and I have zero responsibilities. I'm basically paid just to turn up to work. Awe inspiring dream, huh? Wonder if I can convince my boss and all my future employers that this is a not-to-be-missed opportunity that they should buy into without question? I can be pretty persuasive when I'm passionate about something…
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 11:20 AM
Thursday, December 29, 2005
why can't every weekend be long?
If, as you get older, the years pass at ever increasing speeds, like someone has put a brick on the accelerator of a Formula 1 racing car, then it's fair to say that weekends seem to pass in the blink of an eye. Just as you're starting to relax and work is no longer top of mind, you wake up in a cold sweat at the dawn of another Monday. So why can't every weekend be a long one? Let's make Tuesday the new Monday. Then every Tuesday on trains, buses, ferries and freeways you'll see a relaxed and smiling workforce, saying things like, "no, please, after you" and "you take that seat, I'm happy to stand." Car horns will no longer honk in frustration as zero road rage becomes the norm. And if I can't get a long weekend, then why not start the weekend on Wednesday, then people would say "thank god it's Tuesday" which frankly I don't think we hear enough of these days.
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 10:52 AM
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
why can't Christmas break last all summer?
Remember when you were a kid and the summer holidays seemed to last forever? Now it seems a whole summer can pass by while you're chained to your desk, the blue sky and shimmering sun cruelly taunting you through the window (which might as well have bars on it). Sure, there are a few public holidays to look forward to but what happened to the promise of an endless summer? And why can't the Christmas break last all summer, just like they used to? Give me a summer with zero timetables and zero responsibility. I promise I'll work even harder during the year if it means I can have the summer off (on full pay, of course). Hmmm, teachers get the summer off. Wonder if it's too late to switch careers? In the meantime I plan on packing a summer's worth of fun into the public holidays…
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 12:55 AM
Friday, December 23, 2005
why not have a deep and meaningless?
There's a lot of pressure to settle down out there. To find a nice girl and have a deep and meaningful relationship. I say, what's the rush? Why not have a deep and meaningless? There's only so many times I can have a deep and meaningful chat with a girl before I break out in a sweat and start frantically searching for the exit sign. So why not mix things up a bit? Why not discuss some of the lesser issues we are confronted with every day? With zero talk about the future, zero talk about relationships and commitment and zero talk about love. Instead we could talk about which ingredients make the perfect hamburger (it's gotta have beetroot), or try and work out why only your fingers and toes get wrinkly when you stay in water too long, or maybe workshop the idea that if the sky is the limit then is space over the limit, or even when people say 'it goes without saying' why do they go and say it anyway? And that's just the tip of the iceberg. How about we cover off the deep and meaningful in 10 minutes and move quickly onto the deep and meaningless? There's a lot of ground to cover, after all...
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 11:48 AM
Thursday, December 22, 2005
why doesn't the boss come with a mute button?
Picture this: your boss is throwing out questions like an over zealous prosecutor in a courtroom, "where's that report?", "why were you late this morning?", "why haven't you finished those projections?" You casually reach over for the remote control, hit the mute button and then zone out. Your boss's mouth is moving but there ain't no sound coming out! Just nod and smile while you think about what you're going to do when you finish work for the day. I think I'm onto a winner, might have to patent this genius idea.
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 9:49 AM
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
why can't making mistakes be considered a positive thing?
When you're a kid you work out pretty quickly that the only way forward, the only way to learn and grow, is through trial and error. You spend a bit of time falling over before you finally master the one foot in front of the other concept of walking, and you may spend the better part of a year gurgling before you finally start forming coherent words. Throughout your formative years the world is comfortable with the fact that you'll be making plenty of mistakes - it's even encouraged! - as you navigate your way to adulthood. And then, before you can say "ooops, did I do that? Sorry!" all bets are off once you become an adult. Now, the usual reaction you can expect ranges from frustration to anger, disappointment to scorn. Why are mistakes suddenly considered the enemy? It's not like we stop learning once we become adults, and some of the greatest success stories have a history of failure before they hit the big time. They learnt from their mistakes and moved onwards and upwards. So why can't mistakes be considered a positive thing? Why, when I accidentally delete a spreadsheet, can't my boss laugh fondly, ruffle my hair, and say "at least you'll know not to do that next time"? Why, when I forget my girlfriend's birthday, can't she smile sweetly and say, "Silly, it's always been September. You can just take me to dinner next year"? Why can't our mistakes be given the thumbs up, a friendly slap on the back and a "better luck next time"? Making mistakes is educational. Making mistakes is part of the human condition. Making mistakes is fun! Conquer your fear of failure and embrace your imperfections! Get out there and give everything you've ever wanted to do a go and let the chips fall where they may.
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 10:32 AM
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Why not die penny poor but experience rich?
Being a good son I dropped in to visit my folks last night (ok, it was on way to my mates place but still, i was sharing the love). anyway, it wasn't long before dad started asking me if i've been saving. well, yes, i told him proudly, I've managed to save $900 for this killer guitar which I'm buying this weekend as it happens, thanks for asking. his look told me that wasn't exactly what he had in mind. "Why aren't you saving for a deposit" "when are you buying a house?" Um, not really anytime soon. I've got plenty of living to do before I tie myself down. there's a big world out there and I'm going to see every bit of it. Besides there's this dvd recorder I'm planning on getting, the surround sound stereo system, that Mini …I earn the money, so I'm gonna have a bit of fun spending it!
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 8:17 AM
Friday, December 16, 2005
why can't I still get toys for christmas?
Why is it every birthday people feel the need to get you age appropriate gifts. I say no more!!!! Give me zero undies from mum, zero books on managing your finances from dad and zero hankies from nan. Give me zero gifts you think I should have and bring on gifts you know make no sense but know I'll love. Give me zero suspenders and more action figures. Zero books on cooking for one and more mindless dvds. What the world needs are zero sensible gifts and more just for the fun of it pressies.
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 9:24 AM
Thursday, December 15, 2005
why can't 13 be considered lucky in the 12 items or less aisle?
Who decided 12 was the be all and end all of supermarket items? Why 12? Why not 13. 13 has been tarred for too long with a bad rep. It's time it got lucky. And the supermarket aisle seems the perfect place. Next time I'm there I'm taking 13 items in and if I'm called on it I'll just proclaim "but this is lucky 13". And while I'm at it how come no matter where you are you always seem to pick the longest line? You stand with line envy as every other one shuffles through quicker than yours. I've heard that most people queue by default in the right lines - so next time jump the furtherest one to the left and see how it goes. If it works get back to me.
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 10:59 AM
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
why can't my footy team ever win?
I'm a very loyal bloke. I've had the same best mate since kindergarten, I've backed mates in the odd pub fight, and supported the same footy team since I was 5. So you'd think it wouldn't be too much to ask for my fave footy team to return the favour and win a few. every home game I'm there screaming my lungs out, full of confidence and hope but come the final siren the result is always the same. next week, I say, next week they'll be bathed in glory but next week never comes. So I'm taking matters into my own hands. I'm forming a footy team with my mates, entering the local league wearing my team's colours and bringing home the trophy and the glory for the boys!
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 9:11 AM
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
why can't a lunch hour go all day?
When faced with a gorgeous day like today what are you meant to do? There i was out having lunch and just taking in my surrounds. Watching the clouds over head I felt they were trying to tell me something. They were in the shapes of a wave, a surfboard. It was a sign. And it got me thinking "why can't a lunch hour last all day?" Why can't I just grab my stuff, jump in my car and head to the coast. So I did. Figuring I had at least two hours before anyone actually noticed I wasn't around I headed for the surf. And the sets were going off! Got back to work a few hours later and they were all none the wiser. Sure made the last few hours fly by. As a famous someone once said "if you have the means I highly recommend picking one up" in other words, grab the lunch hour and make it work for you.
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 8:03 AM
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
UPDATE!
For the loyal followers of the zero movement you'd notice our new look. Thanks to Rich and Craig for making a few tweaks to our home (an ongoing thing I bet). It feels good to have a place we can call ours. And here is the new look the zero movement logo. The power of zero is here.
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 4:16 AM
Saturday, December 10, 2005
why do I have to act my age?
i'm a functioning adult in society. I have a job, i pay tax, i pay rent, i manage to look after myself. But why do I always have to act my age? when we're teenagers we're so desperate to be adults but now that I'm an adult I wouldn't mind cutting loose from time to time, and shrug off some of my adult responsibility. I want to laugh at the wrong moments, act like a 10 year old with my mates, or give in to any other childish impulse whenever it hits me. what's holding me back? nothin!
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 7:00 PM
Friday, December 9, 2005
why can't I ask the gorgeous girl on the bus for a date?
I've spent every weekday morning with her for the last year. as I struggle to wake up each morning and prepare myself for the day ahead, her appearance at the bus stop suddenly makes it all worthwhile. so why can't I ask her out? what's the worst that could happen? She could say no. i might have to catch a different bus. But she might say yes! i'm a nice guy, she's sure to fall for my knockabout charm. she could be my future wife. it's decided - Monday morning I'm shaking off the limits of my fear and taking the plunge.
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 1:10 PM
Thursday, December 8, 2005
What the world needs is a whole lot more zero
Have you ever looked at the world and asked why?
Why do the fun things in life have to come with negative consequences? Consequences that hold us back. Limit us. Stop us from living full liberated lives. Welcome to the zero movement. A movement born from deciding to no longer live by other's expectations.
A movement born to rid the world of all the negative stuff that limits us. Initially this was just a blog (the original posts have been transferred here). But the more I wrote the more support I found. My friends knew exactly what I was talking about. We started discussing the things that were limiting our everyday lives. Why were we living by others' shoulds? Why were we letting the expectations of others dictate how we lived our lives? What if we stopped? What if we challenged it all? What if we could be free of limits?
What if we could live without negative consequences?
Why do we have to settle? Why can't we unsettle?
Why can't relationships come with a gap year?
Why can't big nights come with zero morning afters?
Why can't pay increases come with responsibility decreases?
Why can't we have a sick of work day?
Why can't life be this simple? Following the support that the blog received a few of us decided to create this site. To take the zero message to the world. And so thezeromovement.com was born A site designed to challenge, stimulate and inspire. To welcome anyone who has asked "what if you could have more zero in your life?" So speak up. Let us know what you think. What limits are stopping you from living? What are the negative things in your life that you'd be better off without? One thing though, the only stuff we'll never accept is limited thinking. That means zero spam, zero abuse, zero obscenities, zero hate, zero garbage. So free your mind. Unlimit yourself. And post.
POSTED BY THE ZERO MOVEMENT AT 9:24 PM
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